First SLOfixed alleycat (race) went off without a hitch, it was really small, about a tenth of the size (as in riders) as the SJfixed alleycat that happened yesterday, and our prize was a sticker, theirs was a wheelset haha.
But anyways everyone that came out on Saturday night had a great time, I brought donuts for everyone, Mark won. I ended up being out until 2am just riding around with a few of the guys from slofixed, crashed out a little bit later. I woke up at noon to go on the Sunday ride, made the mistake of hopping out of bed and directly onto my bike, did not pass the kitchen, did not collect breakfast or drink any water.
Got to the park to meet up for the Sunday ride, the only two other guys who show up are Mark (the guy who won, also on the cal poly wheelmen cyclist team) and this guy Frank, both in their cycling shorts/underarmor/windbreakers, and I'm there in my khaki shorts and a t-shirt. I almost dipped out at that point, sensing I wouldn't be able to keep up. But off we went, embarking on a 17 mile ride to Lopez Lake.
I made it there, and we were making good time, fastest pace I've kept on a long ride, killed me over the few small hills. We posted up at a vista point over the lake, taking it all in for a few minutes before we headed back. I made it about five miles back before I got super dizzy on a long hill climb and my legs just gave out. I made it to the top of the hill somehow, and told Mark and Frank to go on without me and called my neighbor who came and picked me up. Lifesaver.
I was super bummed, the first time I've ever NOT finished a ride, and I felt dumb for not coming prepared. Ah well, it's a mistake I can easily learn from.
Joey is sandblasting my frame for me this week (the new trek frame) for $5, and I'm going to get it powder coated eventually, I'm thinking blueish silver with some metal flake in there.
Off to class now, just wanted to tell you about my weekend. Oh and I'm all bruised up from the festivities haha.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Seagulls
EDIT: I was all proud that I wrote an entire post on my cellphone, but never went back and read it until just now. I really slaughtered the english language. I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on the tiny screen and ghetto keyboard, and fix the errors now. Anyways.
I love seeing seagulls fly overhead. Its what made me so optimistic the evening before last as I was showing my truck to a couple of potential buyers.
The reason I'm so happy whenever seagulls fly overhead is because in a town like this, a few miles inland of the coast it means rain is on the way. Those simple, common birds have learned that its easier to weather the storm just past those coastal hills, or else they just come to keep us company while we enjoy the cleansing rain.
And the rain is so refreshing. It has the potential to purify the soul, and this week in particular it was a symbol of new beginnings. As I take the first steps to rid myself of the dark clouds in my life, another kind of cloud has come along and made my future seem brighter.
This is the happiest I've been, in a long, long time.
It seemed strange watching my car driving away from me yesterday evening, but it was a passing feeling that quickly yielded to joy. I went directly to the bank, deposited the cash from the transaction, and fulfilled a few of my financial obligations, experiencing a completely undue feeling of accomplishment. But I can't help but feel better knowing that I'm trimming the fat of excess from my life. It has inspired me to live a life of minimalism like the men whose words I have aspired to for so long.
I am fully aware that the road ahead is a hard one as I continue on my journey to freedom. Freedom from debt, personal freedom, the freedom that comes with being a more confident and stronger man.
No sooner had I gotten back from the bank than the rain came back again, just a drizzle at first. I rode to bike night with a few new friends, and felt at one for a short two hours with hundreds of people I normally have nothing in common with, all flooding the downtown streets of San Luis Obispo, as if to say: we're here, and we're very much alive. As bike night came to a close, the rain came back in full force. I reunited with the friends I had arrived with, and we made our way to 7-11 and warmed up over a cheap cup of coffee (or in my case hot chocolate).
The ride home through the pouring rain might once have been a miserable half hour for me, but surrounded by friends, breathing the refreshing cold night air, and feeling the cleansing rain rinsing away my worries, I realized: this is what it means to be alive. And as all such nights end, I parted ways with the group, trudged up the steps to my apartment, dried my bike, and made my way to the warmth and comfort of my bed.
As soon as I woke today, I paid in full a few of my debts, showered, shaved, washed my face, and stepped out to take the bus to grocery shop for the first time in weeks. The rain was still here, like a good friend visiting for the weekend, and as I soaked in the warmth from the rain and the picturesque view of palm trees and waterfalls falling from rooftops that greeted me from my front door, I couldn't help but look straight up to where the rain was coming in such a hurry from and smile. The weather is an eternal metaphor.
That leads to now, sitting on the bus just now arriving at the first set of stores, armed with clipped coupons and a mission to find the best bargains that I can. And as I take those first steps off the bus, I can't wipe the smile off my face, a broken man with a mission, a newfound sense of purpose, and a smile.
I love seeing seagulls fly overhead. Its what made me so optimistic the evening before last as I was showing my truck to a couple of potential buyers.
The reason I'm so happy whenever seagulls fly overhead is because in a town like this, a few miles inland of the coast it means rain is on the way. Those simple, common birds have learned that its easier to weather the storm just past those coastal hills, or else they just come to keep us company while we enjoy the cleansing rain.
And the rain is so refreshing. It has the potential to purify the soul, and this week in particular it was a symbol of new beginnings. As I take the first steps to rid myself of the dark clouds in my life, another kind of cloud has come along and made my future seem brighter.
This is the happiest I've been, in a long, long time.
It seemed strange watching my car driving away from me yesterday evening, but it was a passing feeling that quickly yielded to joy. I went directly to the bank, deposited the cash from the transaction, and fulfilled a few of my financial obligations, experiencing a completely undue feeling of accomplishment. But I can't help but feel better knowing that I'm trimming the fat of excess from my life. It has inspired me to live a life of minimalism like the men whose words I have aspired to for so long.
I am fully aware that the road ahead is a hard one as I continue on my journey to freedom. Freedom from debt, personal freedom, the freedom that comes with being a more confident and stronger man.
No sooner had I gotten back from the bank than the rain came back again, just a drizzle at first. I rode to bike night with a few new friends, and felt at one for a short two hours with hundreds of people I normally have nothing in common with, all flooding the downtown streets of San Luis Obispo, as if to say: we're here, and we're very much alive. As bike night came to a close, the rain came back in full force. I reunited with the friends I had arrived with, and we made our way to 7-11 and warmed up over a cheap cup of coffee (or in my case hot chocolate).
The ride home through the pouring rain might once have been a miserable half hour for me, but surrounded by friends, breathing the refreshing cold night air, and feeling the cleansing rain rinsing away my worries, I realized: this is what it means to be alive. And as all such nights end, I parted ways with the group, trudged up the steps to my apartment, dried my bike, and made my way to the warmth and comfort of my bed.
As soon as I woke today, I paid in full a few of my debts, showered, shaved, washed my face, and stepped out to take the bus to grocery shop for the first time in weeks. The rain was still here, like a good friend visiting for the weekend, and as I soaked in the warmth from the rain and the picturesque view of palm trees and waterfalls falling from rooftops that greeted me from my front door, I couldn't help but look straight up to where the rain was coming in such a hurry from and smile. The weather is an eternal metaphor.
That leads to now, sitting on the bus just now arriving at the first set of stores, armed with clipped coupons and a mission to find the best bargains that I can. And as I take those first steps off the bus, I can't wipe the smile off my face, a broken man with a mission, a newfound sense of purpose, and a smile.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Wednesday, or: The first step from beneath this great shadow
I am exhilerated.
as of tomorrow I will no longer own a car. Thats one of the most exciting prospects I've thought of in awhile. In all honesty I've wanted to live car free since 2005. That was when my dad convinced me that I would need a car living in LA going to BIOLA. So I took out a loan on a car I couldn't realistically afford. That ended well. Actually, come to think of it, that was the first thing I ever owed money on. It's only gone downhill from there.
How poetic that it was a car that drove me into this hell of a mess, and it's selling my car that's letting me walk away from it. At least take a couple of baby steps.
Here goes nothing, and everything.
as of tomorrow I will no longer own a car. Thats one of the most exciting prospects I've thought of in awhile. In all honesty I've wanted to live car free since 2005. That was when my dad convinced me that I would need a car living in LA going to BIOLA. So I took out a loan on a car I couldn't realistically afford. That ended well. Actually, come to think of it, that was the first thing I ever owed money on. It's only gone downhill from there.
How poetic that it was a car that drove me into this hell of a mess, and it's selling my car that's letting me walk away from it. At least take a couple of baby steps.
Here goes nothing, and everything.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Quick prayer request
A good friend of mine is having surgery today to drain a throat abscess that is almost completely occluding the airway.
Please pray for her, it's a low risk surgery, but it's still scary. Please pray for a safe surgery, a speedy recovery, and that the infection didn't affect anything else.
Thanks.
Please pray for her, it's a low risk surgery, but it's still scary. Please pray for a safe surgery, a speedy recovery, and that the infection didn't affect anything else.
Thanks.
Tuesday, or: Money troubles
I just spent half of my net cash.
on a grande soy mocha.
All I have in my fridge right now is a bag of onions and a half tub of margarine. In my cupboards, I have bisquick, flour, potatoes, some spices, a few bags of pasta, a few boxes of mac and cheese, and...well... thats about it.
If you couldn't tell, that presents a problem, since I can't make the bisquick without milk, or really anything with the flour either. The mac & cheese that I can make comes out watery since I don't want to waste my precious margarine, so I use it sparingly, and without milk I'm forced to make the sauce with water (I just don't strain it all the way).
You may ask yourself, how does someone get to this point? By never saving any money, and using credit cards to cover unexpected expenses, and then neglecting to pay them down. Then you end up with a black cloud of debt over your head, no way to pay it off, and your landlord breathing down your neck.
True, I did just buy a bike for $50, so the fact that I have no grocery money is nobodies fault but my own, but that would only have forestalled this predicament by a week or so. And I'm going to sell my other bike once I fix up the new one, for around $200 so it's an investment really.
This isn't me complaining, it's a cautionary tale. Be wise with your money, or you'll end up like me. And hang on to a job when you have it, no matter how much you hate it. You'll wish you could go back to that dead end retail job in a heartbeat when you run out of money for the bare necessities.
I have no idea how I'm going to make rent this month. I'm selling my car, I have two people coming tomorrow to look at it. I'm most likely going to sell my laptop, and my monitor, and just use my old desktop piece of crap computer. May have to sell my camera. Refuse to sell my bike or my snowboard though.
I've been emailing my resume to ever job listing I can find online, handing it in to stores all around town, and hitting up all my friends to see if they know of anyone hiring. I'm to the point where I'll take a job at a fast food place, regardless of how much I hate them, just to get back in black (and no, not like ACDC)
This whole problem could be solved if my parents would cosign on a student loan to cover my outstanding credit cards. I've already cut them into shreds, and the second the balance is paid down I'm going to close the accounts. This is no way to live.
Especially considering the fact that I have fallen prey to the same vice I have protested with words for so long. I, who practice vegetarianism to draw attention to the excess of our society. And hear I am, with evidence of my excess all around me, and the consequences knocking down my door.
I am determined to go back to a more minimalistic existence. If only this lesson didn't carry such a heavy cost. The biggest regret I have is betraying my parents trust, since they have been helping me out with tuition and some expenses, and yet I am still blatantly irresponsible with my money.
I guess this is just one more reason I'm such a winner. You know, I've got so much going for me...
Anyways, I'm hoping I don't end up bankrupt and homeless at the end of the day, and I fully appreciate now more than ever that that is a very distinct possibility.
All I want to know is, what the hell happened? I used to be such a good kid.
Wish me luck, cross your fingers, think positive thoughts, and PRAY for me.
This has the potential to turn me back into a praying man (and that disgusts me too, that I would only turn to faith when I hit rock bottom)
I really am depraved. Anyways, I'll probably regret posting this for everyone to read later, since the only people I've told so far is my parents, but say lah vee.
PEACE
on a grande soy mocha.
All I have in my fridge right now is a bag of onions and a half tub of margarine. In my cupboards, I have bisquick, flour, potatoes, some spices, a few bags of pasta, a few boxes of mac and cheese, and...well... thats about it.
If you couldn't tell, that presents a problem, since I can't make the bisquick without milk, or really anything with the flour either. The mac & cheese that I can make comes out watery since I don't want to waste my precious margarine, so I use it sparingly, and without milk I'm forced to make the sauce with water (I just don't strain it all the way).
You may ask yourself, how does someone get to this point? By never saving any money, and using credit cards to cover unexpected expenses, and then neglecting to pay them down. Then you end up with a black cloud of debt over your head, no way to pay it off, and your landlord breathing down your neck.
True, I did just buy a bike for $50, so the fact that I have no grocery money is nobodies fault but my own, but that would only have forestalled this predicament by a week or so. And I'm going to sell my other bike once I fix up the new one, for around $200 so it's an investment really.
This isn't me complaining, it's a cautionary tale. Be wise with your money, or you'll end up like me. And hang on to a job when you have it, no matter how much you hate it. You'll wish you could go back to that dead end retail job in a heartbeat when you run out of money for the bare necessities.
I have no idea how I'm going to make rent this month. I'm selling my car, I have two people coming tomorrow to look at it. I'm most likely going to sell my laptop, and my monitor, and just use my old desktop piece of crap computer. May have to sell my camera. Refuse to sell my bike or my snowboard though.
I've been emailing my resume to ever job listing I can find online, handing it in to stores all around town, and hitting up all my friends to see if they know of anyone hiring. I'm to the point where I'll take a job at a fast food place, regardless of how much I hate them, just to get back in black (and no, not like ACDC)
This whole problem could be solved if my parents would cosign on a student loan to cover my outstanding credit cards. I've already cut them into shreds, and the second the balance is paid down I'm going to close the accounts. This is no way to live.
Especially considering the fact that I have fallen prey to the same vice I have protested with words for so long. I, who practice vegetarianism to draw attention to the excess of our society. And hear I am, with evidence of my excess all around me, and the consequences knocking down my door.
I am determined to go back to a more minimalistic existence. If only this lesson didn't carry such a heavy cost. The biggest regret I have is betraying my parents trust, since they have been helping me out with tuition and some expenses, and yet I am still blatantly irresponsible with my money.
I guess this is just one more reason I'm such a winner. You know, I've got so much going for me...
Anyways, I'm hoping I don't end up bankrupt and homeless at the end of the day, and I fully appreciate now more than ever that that is a very distinct possibility.
All I want to know is, what the hell happened? I used to be such a good kid.
Wish me luck, cross your fingers, think positive thoughts, and PRAY for me.
This has the potential to turn me back into a praying man (and that disgusts me too, that I would only turn to faith when I hit rock bottom)
I really am depraved. Anyways, I'll probably regret posting this for everyone to read later, since the only people I've told so far is my parents, but say lah vee.
PEACE
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday, or: Why am I still tired after 10 hours of sleep
From an old writing.com account of mine:
I looked for a door in the mirror this morning
prescriptions and band-aids stood in its place
I searched for an exit as I stared at myself
myself regarding the backwards me: he receded
all feelings of self awareness disappeared
and in that moment I considered existence
this episode seemed like a dream I'd had before,
but now less frightening than when it was subconscious
reality shook out a realization that was absent in sleep
being nobody is nothing more than being someone with nothing to say
not knowing how to express uniqueness I struggled to speak
I choked on my silence; my feet gave way beneath me
my knees stung on connection with faded linoleum
until finally my tongue tumbled out and words,
burning, crisp, necessary, inconsequential words
spilled onto the piss stained floor in a puddle
I looked for a door in the mirror this morning
prescriptions and band-aids stood in its place
I searched for an exit as I stared at myself
myself regarding the backwards me: he receded
all feelings of self awareness disappeared
and in that moment I considered existence
this episode seemed like a dream I'd had before,
but now less frightening than when it was subconscious
reality shook out a realization that was absent in sleep
being nobody is nothing more than being someone with nothing to say
not knowing how to express uniqueness I struggled to speak
I choked on my silence; my feet gave way beneath me
my knees stung on connection with faded linoleum
until finally my tongue tumbled out and words,
burning, crisp, necessary, inconsequential words
spilled onto the piss stained floor in a puddle
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Sunday, or: one helluva ride
My gear ratio is officially too high for hills. went on the slofixed sunday ride, ran over a wire, got a slow leak, stopped and pumped up, stopped again, Joey stopped with me, finally went flat, stopped and changed tube, bought a 24 ounce gatorade, chugged it, started riding hard, regretted chugging, joked about my maglight saran wrapped to my handlebars, lost my maglight, regretted using saran wrap, rode halfway up a huge hill, walked my bike, started riding again near the top, view of morro rock from the top kicked ass, joked about my high gear ratio, started riding, rode fast downhill, polka skid like mad in front of me, smelled polkas rubber (literally), rode through a eucalyptus grove, rode up a smaller hill, mashed down a bigger hill, rode through another eucalyptus grove, big hill, walked the bike, talked to kerry, rode down the last big hill to the beach, spinning all the way, skidding like crazy at the bottom, walked around beach, sharp rocks everywhere, found a limestone, licked my finger, stuck finger to limestone, "show and tell" everyone about limestone, make up a fake scientific explanation about it, everyone tries it, rode back up the giant hill, walked most of the way with kerry, back of the pack, got yelled at, "DOGGY STYLE", down a hill, up a hill, down a hill, up a hill, down a big hill, foot came out of my clip, glad I had a front brake, stopped at shell, chugged a chocolate milk, ate a banana, sipped on a big water, eric had arizona, jason and steven smoke cigarettes, I realize how nasty cigarettes are...again, take off down the road, leading the pack, keeping a good pace, get passed, don't feel like riding hard anymore, no bike lane for two miles, caught up with the leaders of the pack waiting at the turnoff, skid stop, skid stop, still going to fast, slam front brake to try a stoppie, do a massive stoppie, keep going forward, whip around, fall into the ditch, come up with my arms up, the entire biking community was laughing at me, not a good ride til I hurt myself, nice easy pace back into town, rode with kerry again, i think i creeped her out, rode back to my apartments with joey, jason and eric, watched third quarter of superbowl, made mac and cheese, ate entire box of mac and cheese, fell asleep, woke up two and a half hours later, chugged some water, need a shower, good day. start again tomorrow.
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