six quarts of blood
a Father's tears
an ocean of mercy.
thorns on His brow
sour wine in His mouth
king of the Jews
stripped of His robes
in the company of thieves
how can this be?
sky black as night
the earth shakes
His last breath a sigh
a curtain torn in two
'it is finished'
six quarts of blood
a Father's tears
an ocean of mercy
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Monday, February 1, 2010
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I'm gonna try to make this make sense
First some free writing rambling to clear the air in my head
The world has a different smell in the morning, just as the sun comes up. I never really thought about it before, but waking up at 6 this morning, I was more alert than usual. I suppose thats what happens when you sleep 12 hours and wake up early in the morning. Anyways, I'm looking out my window right now as the sunlight is breaking over the range of hills behind Cal Poly, palm trees dancing in the forefront as the sky spills it's beautiful watercolors onto the canvas of the day. Today is the last day of finals, a very generous teacher was kind enough to let me retake a final that I slept in and missed on Monday. All of my professors at Cal Poly have been really helpful, I wish I knew how to take better advantage of that. Took my chem final and my organic chemistry final yesterday, back to back. Pulled an all nighter, general chemistry final was at 7am, took me the full 3 hours to take it, which rarely happens, but it's because I spent the time each question deserved for the first time in a long time. It wasn't conscious, but I answered problems that I couldn't on the two midterms on the final, and it's not that I studied them. In fact, I didn't study at all for general chemistry the night before, only for organic chemistry, the final that I'm pretty sure I bombed. I may have to take that class over again, which would be a bummer since I've never not passed a class before.
Freewriting over.
Unhappiness is a lonely place. We offer all the assurance in the world to those going through a dark time that the sunrise is coming soon. "All your problems are temporary", or "I know it's tough right now, but you'll be happy again," are the best we have to offer.
Heres the thing, when things are down, it's easy to reason that sure, for every valley theres a mountaintop. The tough part is remembering how great it is to be on the mountaintop. Thats a feeling you can't recapture, or even really remember, until you're back on top of the world. When your face wears no expression, it's hard to remember how great the urge to just smile is. We always wear the scars from our darkest moments, maybe not outwardly, but those times are not soon forgotten. And while we have good memories to cling to as well, a climb to the top of the world doesn't leave the same marks that a fall to the bottom do.
(INCOMPLETE POST - DRAFT SAVED FROM 3/18/09)
The world has a different smell in the morning, just as the sun comes up. I never really thought about it before, but waking up at 6 this morning, I was more alert than usual. I suppose thats what happens when you sleep 12 hours and wake up early in the morning. Anyways, I'm looking out my window right now as the sunlight is breaking over the range of hills behind Cal Poly, palm trees dancing in the forefront as the sky spills it's beautiful watercolors onto the canvas of the day. Today is the last day of finals, a very generous teacher was kind enough to let me retake a final that I slept in and missed on Monday. All of my professors at Cal Poly have been really helpful, I wish I knew how to take better advantage of that. Took my chem final and my organic chemistry final yesterday, back to back. Pulled an all nighter, general chemistry final was at 7am, took me the full 3 hours to take it, which rarely happens, but it's because I spent the time each question deserved for the first time in a long time. It wasn't conscious, but I answered problems that I couldn't on the two midterms on the final, and it's not that I studied them. In fact, I didn't study at all for general chemistry the night before, only for organic chemistry, the final that I'm pretty sure I bombed. I may have to take that class over again, which would be a bummer since I've never not passed a class before.
Freewriting over.
Unhappiness is a lonely place. We offer all the assurance in the world to those going through a dark time that the sunrise is coming soon. "All your problems are temporary", or "I know it's tough right now, but you'll be happy again," are the best we have to offer.
Heres the thing, when things are down, it's easy to reason that sure, for every valley theres a mountaintop. The tough part is remembering how great it is to be on the mountaintop. Thats a feeling you can't recapture, or even really remember, until you're back on top of the world. When your face wears no expression, it's hard to remember how great the urge to just smile is. We always wear the scars from our darkest moments, maybe not outwardly, but those times are not soon forgotten. And while we have good memories to cling to as well, a climb to the top of the world doesn't leave the same marks that a fall to the bottom do.
(INCOMPLETE POST - DRAFT SAVED FROM 3/18/09)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
i'm a trust fund kid without the benefit of billions at my fingertips
and i'm sick of it. sick of myself. so i will evolve. and they say that nothing changes too slowly, but tonight, nothing can change fast enough.
im ready to take my first step, away from my old self, to leave my own ghost where it belongs, in the past.
and in the midst of the chaos, the dark cloud over my head, i manage to find a bit of respite,
and milk it for every second
and i'm sick of it. sick of myself. so i will evolve. and they say that nothing changes too slowly, but tonight, nothing can change fast enough.
im ready to take my first step, away from my old self, to leave my own ghost where it belongs, in the past.
and in the midst of the chaos, the dark cloud over my head, i manage to find a bit of respite,
and milk it for every second
Monday, April 20, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
We will be held to account for every word we speak
I have been reading Matthew and a few Psalms this week, and the main thing that keeps standing out to me is how much emphasis there is on being honest, and being careful with the words that we speak.
Good fruit comes from good trees, evil springs forth from evil:
Matthew 12:36
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every areless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.
Jesus says that we shouldn't swear by God, or by anything else for that matter, and rather than taking an oath, let your yes become an oath to those who know you, and your no become the same.
Matthew 5:37
Let what you say be simply "Yes" or "No"; anything more than this comes from evil.
Psalm 101:5
Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly, I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart, I will not endure.
Psalm 101:7
No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my housel no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes.
Psalm 31:18
Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt
After reading all of those verses, it gave me a broader understanding of the golden rule, also found in Matthew, as it becomes clear that treating others as we want to be treated definitely includes the words we speak. I know there are countless other passages in the Bible that talk about guarding our mouths, being honest, etc. etc., it just really stood out to me what an emphasis was put on it by Jesus in Matthew, and by David in the Psalms.
Matthew 7:12
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
So my takeaway from this is it's time for me to guard the gate by which folly and lies would so happily spill out from, and be sure that I am honest, I am kind, and I do not gossip. After all, what is the tongue if not a rudder for our ship, or a spark to a great forest.
On a lighter note, I've found a great way to start my morning is to wake up an extra fifteen minutes or so early and read a couple of psalms.
Everyone who reads this needs to go now and sign up for the forum I started: guf.11.forumer.com
go to the "life in general" subject and click on "what this forums all about" and read my little statement. Thankyou all, have a great day
Good fruit comes from good trees, evil springs forth from evil:
Matthew 12:36
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every areless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.
Jesus says that we shouldn't swear by God, or by anything else for that matter, and rather than taking an oath, let your yes become an oath to those who know you, and your no become the same.
Matthew 5:37
Let what you say be simply "Yes" or "No"; anything more than this comes from evil.
Psalm 101:5
Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly, I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart, I will not endure.
Psalm 101:7
No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my housel no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes.
Psalm 31:18
Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt
After reading all of those verses, it gave me a broader understanding of the golden rule, also found in Matthew, as it becomes clear that treating others as we want to be treated definitely includes the words we speak. I know there are countless other passages in the Bible that talk about guarding our mouths, being honest, etc. etc., it just really stood out to me what an emphasis was put on it by Jesus in Matthew, and by David in the Psalms.
Matthew 7:12
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
So my takeaway from this is it's time for me to guard the gate by which folly and lies would so happily spill out from, and be sure that I am honest, I am kind, and I do not gossip. After all, what is the tongue if not a rudder for our ship, or a spark to a great forest.
On a lighter note, I've found a great way to start my morning is to wake up an extra fifteen minutes or so early and read a couple of psalms.
Everyone who reads this needs to go now and sign up for the forum I started: guf.11.forumer.com
go to the "life in general" subject and click on "what this forums all about" and read my little statement. Thankyou all, have a great day
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Everything we do is worship
I discovered Calvary SLO podcasts on itunes today, listened to a sermon called "Worship: The God who transforms" while I folded my laundry. I'm excited to go to church on Sunday now, I like what the pastor has to say about alot of stuff. I have been thinking about the idea of worship ever since, and this is what came out, some of it is taken directly from the sermon, some of it is paraphrased, and some of it is just my thoughts on it. I really like Romans 12:1-2, which talks about offering yourself as a living sacrifice to God, and that if we do this then we will be transformed to the image of God, and we will begin to know and understand his will, which is a very cool concept, and a conclusion that I came to while talking to Sean about how we can grow deeper in the Kingdom. Anyways just felt like I had to share whats on my mind today, I'm working on a really big post about everything thats been going on in my mind in the past week, but it might take a little while, I have alot on my plate right now.
the thing that you turn to when you're sad, the thing that you turn to to celebrate, thats the thing that you worship
when you get your paycheck, the first thing you go spend money on, the thing that you spend the most and best time focused on getting/pursuing
thats worship
just as everything in the universe is spiritual, from the largest object to the tiniest, from the least dimensional to the most mind blowingly multidimensional
every action, everything we do in this life, is worship, down to what our thought life revolves around, to what we spend our money on, to what we rely on to make us feel better when we're sad, or help us celebrate when things are good
and the more you start looking at the world this way, the more you start to see that so many of our problems are a problem of worship, of priorities, and of what we really value.
Because that which we REALLY value, those things we consider glorious
and those things we devote our lives to,
and it becomes very easy to devote our attention and our time and our entire lives to a false idol without ever realizing it
and in the end, all false idols fall.
Romans 12:1-2
Psalms 115
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Each life
Every life is a masterpiece in 4 dimensions, a colorful, animated sculpture with a soul.
This week God has been working in my life in completely unexpected ways. Since Sunday (see my latest post) I have started reading A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. I picked it up off the shelf in my mom's library on Monday night and packed it to read on the train up to San Francisco. The train ride lasted two hours, and in that two hours I only read 24 pages. The reason I spent so much time in those first pages is that every time I read about a new concept, a new way to look at the world, whether I had heard it before or not, I was completely floored.
As I have been contemplating nature lately, I have been completely awed at the Creator behind the work of art that is our world, and reading about the vast universe just outside our front door, I was even more taken aback. Particularly, the concept of space time and time as a dynamic dimension, rather than the static entity we usually imagine it as completely blew my mind.
Hawking continues on and talks about general relativity and how it predicts it's own shortcomings as it predicts the big bang event. This is called a singularity, the point at which a theory cannot predict what came before, or what comes after it. What we do know about the big bang is that before it happened all the matter and energy in the universe was concentrated in an infinitely small and infinitely dense point of matter and energy. And then God spoke.
Think about that. God spoke the entire universe into existence. His voice, His breath, His love all have such great power, and such unbelievable beauty. We are experiencing only the smallest slice of this great work of art that is the universe, and we still consider it a masterpiece. Imagine looking down on it then, from God's perspective, this infinitely small point of matter and energy exploding, or perhaps more appropriately blooming into the hundreds of thousands of millions of galaxies full of hundreds of thousands of millions of stars, each with it's own solar system, each full of it's own natural wonders. And thats just the universe in 4 dimensions.
Now think about every life intertwined in four dimensions, meeting here, diverting there, forming a beautiful tapestry. But such a metaphor quickly fails as each life deserves so much more representation than just a line, or a string, even in three dimensions. Add to that the fact that there are several more dimensions, which have no realistic visual representation in our own three dimensional perspective, and the word tapestry seems to be a cheap substitute for something more beautiful than we can possibly imagine, perhaps more than we could ever perceive, let alone appreciate.
This week God has been working in my life in completely unexpected ways. Since Sunday (see my latest post) I have started reading A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. I picked it up off the shelf in my mom's library on Monday night and packed it to read on the train up to San Francisco. The train ride lasted two hours, and in that two hours I only read 24 pages. The reason I spent so much time in those first pages is that every time I read about a new concept, a new way to look at the world, whether I had heard it before or not, I was completely floored.
As I have been contemplating nature lately, I have been completely awed at the Creator behind the work of art that is our world, and reading about the vast universe just outside our front door, I was even more taken aback. Particularly, the concept of space time and time as a dynamic dimension, rather than the static entity we usually imagine it as completely blew my mind.
Hawking continues on and talks about general relativity and how it predicts it's own shortcomings as it predicts the big bang event. This is called a singularity, the point at which a theory cannot predict what came before, or what comes after it. What we do know about the big bang is that before it happened all the matter and energy in the universe was concentrated in an infinitely small and infinitely dense point of matter and energy. And then God spoke.
Think about that. God spoke the entire universe into existence. His voice, His breath, His love all have such great power, and such unbelievable beauty. We are experiencing only the smallest slice of this great work of art that is the universe, and we still consider it a masterpiece. Imagine looking down on it then, from God's perspective, this infinitely small point of matter and energy exploding, or perhaps more appropriately blooming into the hundreds of thousands of millions of galaxies full of hundreds of thousands of millions of stars, each with it's own solar system, each full of it's own natural wonders. And thats just the universe in 4 dimensions.
Now think about every life intertwined in four dimensions, meeting here, diverting there, forming a beautiful tapestry. But such a metaphor quickly fails as each life deserves so much more representation than just a line, or a string, even in three dimensions. Add to that the fact that there are several more dimensions, which have no realistic visual representation in our own three dimensional perspective, and the word tapestry seems to be a cheap substitute for something more beautiful than we can possibly imagine, perhaps more than we could ever perceive, let alone appreciate.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Heaven, hell, history, and other light subjects
Last night Enzo was kind enough to give me a ride to iF, where Isaac talked about the incarnation. If you read my post from January (the 13th), you know that I have felt that the God of the Bible is contradictory to what I believe, and that logically I couldn't make it all add up.
I am the type of guy that has to make everything make sense. If I can't make some logical sense out of something, I reject it. It was under this pretense that I abandoned my walk with God. Last night at church, Isaac said something that was peripheral to his core message: there are things that go beyond human logic, but don't contradict it.
I need to preface this next part by saying that I have been absolutely overjoyed with life for several weeks now. Every day I wake up, happy to be alive, and the smile I wear as I step into the shower usually lasts all day long. Thats why I was so surprised and confused when I was brought to tears by Isaac's message last night. I don't know what it means, I know I was moved, and I know some of the things that he said resonated with me but that doesn't explain my reaction.
While I don't fully understand where I am spiritually, or what it was about last night that so deeply moved me, I know that it's time that I confront some of the things that I wasn't ready to a couple of years ago.
After the service, I asked Isaac if he would grab a cup of coffee with me so I could pick his brain on a couple of things. Met up with him today at 1st st. coffee and dove right into the biggest issue I think I've ever wrestled with: hell.
Hell
What is hell? In the evangelical church, hell is generally accepted to be a lake of fire, or some other state of suffering, that lasts forever. More liberal Christians hold that hell simply means the end of existence, that when someone dies and "goes to hell", it just means they cease to be.
As I wrote in my previous post, I have a hard time rationalizing how a loving God would throw literally trillions of people into a lake of fire forever simply because they didn't believe in him, especially considering the fact that many of them had slim to no chance of ever receiving the truth and finding salvation. But it's also impossible to ignore the passages in scripture that clearly describe hell as an actual place of suffering, a form of punishment.
So maybe it's something in between the two extremes. After all, it seems that while some of the scriptures about hell clearly describe it as unending suffering, there are others that describe it as temporary, referring to it as "the second death." So maybe hell is a punishment for the wicked deeds performed on earth, a punishment that fits the crime. So, for example, a rapist or a murderer would be punished more severely than someone who simply rejected God because they didn't have a good relationship with their dad, or because they were angry, blaming God for their own suffering in this life.
I had thought at one point that hell just meant ceasing to exist, after all John 3:16 says "for whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Maybe going to hell really does just mean the story ends at death, and the punishment is the fact that we miss out on heaven. But I am now starting to think that perhaps hell is a form of punishment, a place of suffering, which precedes that end of existence, but doesn't necesarily go on forever.
Also, Isaac talked about how he thinks that maybe God planned the entire course of human history so that anyone who WOULD accept God would be given a chance to. He referenced a passage from Acts to back that up, where Paul talks about how God disperesed different nations around the world in order that his will would be done according to a specific plan and timeline. That really clicked with me, since thats how I believe God created the universe to begin with, by orchestrating an unbelievably chain of events that would lead to the evolution of life on this planet.
This concept of a symphony of human history, orchestrated by a loving God, plays right into the next issue we discussed at coffee. I have always struggled with the apparent change of God's nature from the old testament to the new testament.
Immutability
In ancient times, most people groups were polytheistic, in fact the Israelites were one of the only nations to worship one God as opposed to many. Another characteristic of spirituality in ancient times is that guilt and fear were the predominant aspects of religion. Not only did people worship many gods, but more importantly they were deathly afraid of them.
Perhaps it was for this reason then, that God chose to reveal his wrathful nature to the people of Israel, they simply weren't ready for the gospel as we know it. They were so conditioned by their time in slavery and the cultures around them that the only side of God's nature they were ready to see were his wrath and jealousy. This would make sense as far as the sacrifices required of the Israelites as well, the only way they knew how to relate to God was through guilt, and as such, the most spiritual and meaningful way they could relate to God was through a sacrifice that symbolized the cleansing of their guilt and fear.
After all, many old testament passages point towards the coming of Christ, and as time goes on it becomes clear that it's not about the sacrifice, it's about Love, Mercy and Forgiveness. Even when Christ became flesh on earth, even when God tabernacled himself among us, we weren't ready for his message.
So it isn't that God's nature changed, but rather that God was leading the Israelites towards a better understanding of who He is, and what He wants for them and from them. It gives a whole new meaning to wandering in the desert.
While I won't presume to know whether or not any of these ideas are right, or even close to being right, I am now at a point where I understand that these are things that surpass human logic, not contradict it. That one statement that Isaac made on Sunday night made me rethink everything more than I have in more than two years.
If anyone ever wants to talk about stuff like this, just let me know. For now I will be thinking and reading and prayerfully considering these issues as well as many others and would appreciate your prayers as well.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support and friendship over the past several years. The symphony has just gotten started.
I am the type of guy that has to make everything make sense. If I can't make some logical sense out of something, I reject it. It was under this pretense that I abandoned my walk with God. Last night at church, Isaac said something that was peripheral to his core message: there are things that go beyond human logic, but don't contradict it.
I need to preface this next part by saying that I have been absolutely overjoyed with life for several weeks now. Every day I wake up, happy to be alive, and the smile I wear as I step into the shower usually lasts all day long. Thats why I was so surprised and confused when I was brought to tears by Isaac's message last night. I don't know what it means, I know I was moved, and I know some of the things that he said resonated with me but that doesn't explain my reaction.
While I don't fully understand where I am spiritually, or what it was about last night that so deeply moved me, I know that it's time that I confront some of the things that I wasn't ready to a couple of years ago.
After the service, I asked Isaac if he would grab a cup of coffee with me so I could pick his brain on a couple of things. Met up with him today at 1st st. coffee and dove right into the biggest issue I think I've ever wrestled with: hell.
Hell
What is hell? In the evangelical church, hell is generally accepted to be a lake of fire, or some other state of suffering, that lasts forever. More liberal Christians hold that hell simply means the end of existence, that when someone dies and "goes to hell", it just means they cease to be.
As I wrote in my previous post, I have a hard time rationalizing how a loving God would throw literally trillions of people into a lake of fire forever simply because they didn't believe in him, especially considering the fact that many of them had slim to no chance of ever receiving the truth and finding salvation. But it's also impossible to ignore the passages in scripture that clearly describe hell as an actual place of suffering, a form of punishment.
So maybe it's something in between the two extremes. After all, it seems that while some of the scriptures about hell clearly describe it as unending suffering, there are others that describe it as temporary, referring to it as "the second death." So maybe hell is a punishment for the wicked deeds performed on earth, a punishment that fits the crime. So, for example, a rapist or a murderer would be punished more severely than someone who simply rejected God because they didn't have a good relationship with their dad, or because they were angry, blaming God for their own suffering in this life.
I had thought at one point that hell just meant ceasing to exist, after all John 3:16 says "for whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Maybe going to hell really does just mean the story ends at death, and the punishment is the fact that we miss out on heaven. But I am now starting to think that perhaps hell is a form of punishment, a place of suffering, which precedes that end of existence, but doesn't necesarily go on forever.
Also, Isaac talked about how he thinks that maybe God planned the entire course of human history so that anyone who WOULD accept God would be given a chance to. He referenced a passage from Acts to back that up, where Paul talks about how God disperesed different nations around the world in order that his will would be done according to a specific plan and timeline. That really clicked with me, since thats how I believe God created the universe to begin with, by orchestrating an unbelievably chain of events that would lead to the evolution of life on this planet.
This concept of a symphony of human history, orchestrated by a loving God, plays right into the next issue we discussed at coffee. I have always struggled with the apparent change of God's nature from the old testament to the new testament.
Immutability
In ancient times, most people groups were polytheistic, in fact the Israelites were one of the only nations to worship one God as opposed to many. Another characteristic of spirituality in ancient times is that guilt and fear were the predominant aspects of religion. Not only did people worship many gods, but more importantly they were deathly afraid of them.
Perhaps it was for this reason then, that God chose to reveal his wrathful nature to the people of Israel, they simply weren't ready for the gospel as we know it. They were so conditioned by their time in slavery and the cultures around them that the only side of God's nature they were ready to see were his wrath and jealousy. This would make sense as far as the sacrifices required of the Israelites as well, the only way they knew how to relate to God was through guilt, and as such, the most spiritual and meaningful way they could relate to God was through a sacrifice that symbolized the cleansing of their guilt and fear.
After all, many old testament passages point towards the coming of Christ, and as time goes on it becomes clear that it's not about the sacrifice, it's about Love, Mercy and Forgiveness. Even when Christ became flesh on earth, even when God tabernacled himself among us, we weren't ready for his message.
So it isn't that God's nature changed, but rather that God was leading the Israelites towards a better understanding of who He is, and what He wants for them and from them. It gives a whole new meaning to wandering in the desert.
While I won't presume to know whether or not any of these ideas are right, or even close to being right, I am now at a point where I understand that these are things that surpass human logic, not contradict it. That one statement that Isaac made on Sunday night made me rethink everything more than I have in more than two years.
If anyone ever wants to talk about stuff like this, just let me know. For now I will be thinking and reading and prayerfully considering these issues as well as many others and would appreciate your prayers as well.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support and friendship over the past several years. The symphony has just gotten started.
Latest lyrical ramblings
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Today the sunrise cast a warm light on the cold snow
All around I see signs of life for the first time
I'd begun to think this winter'd never end
but all along the soul of spring lay just beneath the ice,
the earth kept breathing through the freezing cold
fields of flowers waited for a reason to bloom
a welcome splash of color in a world long painted white
and as the seasons change, I see it all in a new light
as I'm reminded: life and love will carry on
my mouth betrays my heart, and I can't help but smile
as I walk on beneath the nearest star, our friendly sun
that gives life to this green sphere we call our home
I notice the brightest blues, and crispest greens
and the smoothest transition between the two,
this scenery is a gallery, stunning in its scope
it seems to me that nature is the purest form of art
the beauty all around is worth the wait through winter
for days like today, when walking feels just like flying
and as the seasons change, I see it all in a new light
as I'm reminded: life and love will carry on
my mouth betrays my heart, and I can't help but smile once again
------------------------------------------------------
Today the sunrise cast a warm light on the cold snow
All around I see signs of life for the first time
I'd begun to think this winter'd never end
but all along the soul of spring lay just beneath the ice,
the earth kept breathing through the freezing cold
fields of flowers waited for a reason to bloom
a welcome splash of color in a world long painted white
and as the seasons change, I see it all in a new light
as I'm reminded: life and love will carry on
my mouth betrays my heart, and I can't help but smile
as I walk on beneath the nearest star, our friendly sun
that gives life to this green sphere we call our home
I notice the brightest blues, and crispest greens
and the smoothest transition between the two,
this scenery is a gallery, stunning in its scope
it seems to me that nature is the purest form of art
the beauty all around is worth the wait through winter
for days like today, when walking feels just like flying
and as the seasons change, I see it all in a new light
as I'm reminded: life and love will carry on
my mouth betrays my heart, and I can't help but smile once again
------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Chuck.
When someone shows up in your life that you care about, and I mean really care...
it's hard to let that go.
paraphrased from my favorite spy dramedy, chuck.
Couldn't have said it better myself. The upside is that I still have people in my life that I care deeply about, and who care about me. Family, friends, and the things I believe in, without those three pillars I would hazard a guess that the past several months would have been a lot darker.
I realized a couple days ago that while I'm not over her (I don't know if I ever will be), I'm moving on. This came to me while I was actually kinda bummed out, feeling lonely... but that's the thing, it wasn't me pining after my ex, it was just a moment where I felt lonely, wishing for a moment that I had what I did with her, but I can look forward now.
Just had to get up from bed to get that quick thought off my mind. insomnia sucks ass, finals at 7am tomorrow
oh and go listen to bloc party - signs
it's hard to let that go.
paraphrased from my favorite spy dramedy, chuck.
Couldn't have said it better myself. The upside is that I still have people in my life that I care deeply about, and who care about me. Family, friends, and the things I believe in, without those three pillars I would hazard a guess that the past several months would have been a lot darker.
I realized a couple days ago that while I'm not over her (I don't know if I ever will be), I'm moving on. This came to me while I was actually kinda bummed out, feeling lonely... but that's the thing, it wasn't me pining after my ex, it was just a moment where I felt lonely, wishing for a moment that I had what I did with her, but I can look forward now.
Just had to get up from bed to get that quick thought off my mind. insomnia sucks ass, finals at 7am tomorrow
oh and go listen to bloc party - signs
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
End of the quarter.
I feel like the quarter just started, and just like that we're in week 9, one more week of regular classes after this, then finals week. I'm counting down the days because being home means snowboarding, and bike riding, and ride biking, and family, and old friends.
I feel that I've finally settled into San Luis Obispo though, which is nice. While I am excited for spring break, I'm also very happy here. I've been hanging out with my friend Jason alot lately, which is good since we're planning on getting a house. He baked bread the other day, it tasted so good. He's gonna give me his recipe, but it was really cool to watch him make it, because he's made it so many times, and is so familiar with the process that he wasn't measuring any of the ingredients.
He poured flour straight from the bag into the bowl, squeezed honey straight from the bottle, the whole process seemed organic (but not in the no pesticides way), and it turned out with great texture and flavor. Tomorrow in foods lab we're baking bread, so it's kinda perfect timing. I need to do my dishes so I'll have stuff to cook with.
Favorite activity lately: go trick or go for a long ride, then kick back and have a couple beers and some stirfry/fried rice/pasta/fresh bread etc. over a good episode of its always sunny in philadelphia.
San Francisco was great, Sean's birthday party was pretty crazy, very interesting night, I have a few stories to share if you'd like to hear (over an OD's breakfast or a Super T burrito)
Rode around with Henry (Sean's roommate) and a bunch of his asian friends, that was pretty awesome, I got to jam down lombard and video them (holding their camcorder in one hand, other hand in the drops), got some great shots, weaving in and out of cars, panning around as they passed me, or I passed them. I'm stoked to see the final product.
Also my friend Eric from SLO just finished a couple videos he made for slofixed.com, one of which I'm in, albeit only for a couple seconds haha. In San Francisco I did a mean thing. I was supposed to ride with this girl Sarah Jane on Saturday, but when I mentioned it everyone in the house I was staying at told me she's boring as hell, so I definitely bailed on her. Normally I wouldn't do that but I had precious few hours to enjoy in the city, and rode with Henry and his crew instead. Still, I can't help but feel like a total asshole (appropriate since I happen to be a giant asshole)
The three days I was there, I had great (and pretty cheap) sushi, indian food and a burrito, all great tasting, all within a couple blocks of the house. I will move to the city after I graduate. Got back to the house on Saturday night after riding with Henry, door was locked, noone home, so I just rode a quick half hour down to Ocean Beach, saw a bunch of bonfires, got bored, rode back through the park.
Within minutes off the bus I was riding around the island, met this guy Maxwell who was really chill, talked about track bikes for awhile. I keep hearing how cliquey and pretentious San Francisco is, and supposedly everyones an asshole. Has not been my experience in the slightest.
There was one guy at Sean's party though that was the most pretentious person I have ever met. It was actually pretty comical, I couldn't help but laugh in his face, which probably just fed his "I'm hot shit and people don't understand me" complex.
I continued my music experiment throughout the weekend, got up through As I Lay Dying, then when I got home, my laptop charger wasn't working, which meant I had no way to listen to my music, or even charge my ipod, so I broke down and listened to some beirut and computer vs. banjo I had on cd. I think I'll keep listening through my library, but allow myself to listen to other stuff as well, might be the only way to keep my sanity.
Noticed though that it continued to work out that whatever happened to be playing was perfect for my mood/activities. It was pretty cool jamming down the embarcadero, cutting in and out of traffic while listening to As I Lay Dying. And I have a newfound appreciation for a few artists who's names start with A.
Oh also a sad development, I fucked up my skull candy ear buds, so it only plays out of one ear unless I twist the adapter around just right, which I can't do for bike riding. So I'm back to my crappy earbuds from before. Oh well I still have my sennheiser HD 480 for home ecstasy.
I just ordered a new charger for my laptop, $25 on ebay (including shipping). Super cheap, just hope it gets here soon.
So I spent way too much money in SF, but it was worth it (I'm selling my flatscreen monitor to cover the bill), and I came home with a new chrome bag and a new saddle, making for a great new feel when I'm riding.
This summer should be a great time, planning on a two week bike trip to Portland with Jason, Mark, Matt and Sam (hopefully Sean too). Hoping to go backpacking with Bobby on the lost coast still. Hoping to spend a good amount of time in San Francisco, Santa Cruz and San Luis Obispo too. First on my list of priorities for the summer though is to find a job so I can save up some moneys. Anyone know of people in Gilroy that might hire someone just for the summer?
I re-read civil disobedience by Thoreau while I was on the bus up to San Francisco, also read life without principle again, and finally finished reading winter walk.
Got a fire lit under my butt by civil disobedience, reading some of the stuff in there that I had completely forgotten about. One quote that stood out was when HDT commented on the fact that for every one virtuous man, there are 999 patrons of virtue. I am embarrassed that currently I best fit the description of 1 of the 999. I have a bunch of causes that I support with words, but which I do little to actually further by my actions. I have principle, but no action from principle. I hope to find ways to take steps to correct that.
He also observes that to follow the letter of the law, despite ones conscience is to betray the one law we are all obligated to. So the unjust thing to do is to observe a law that goes against your morals. If an evil perpetrated by the government is observed, protest by words is not enough. The moral action is to stand up and refuse to obey a law that so discriminates or persecutes, or wages unjust war. So it is then, that the greatest patriot is often considered the greatest enemy of the state, for a true patriot serves a country not according to it's own laws, but according to his heart and the truest kind of freedom for everyone.
Thoreau also puts forth a great challenge for all who stand up for whats right, stating that if a government imprisons any unjustly, the only place for a truly just man is in a prison. That hit close to home, since America is the very definition of that, holding political prisoners and abusing human rights in secret prisons, and yet I walk the streets freely. Until we all are safe from an oppressive government, none of us are safe. He also relates a night he spent in jail when he refused to pay his taxes, and is amused by the fact that the guard takes such care to lock him in, when he feels he is the free-est man in the town, since he isn't paying his wages to a government that he so disagrees with.
We are constantly lulled into complacency by those in power above us, and pundits insisting that the time for revolution ended with the revolutionary war. Such is not the case, and I am not speaking of a revolution in the ballot box. If anything, it is the ballot box that holds us so entrapped in this false democracy we obey at every step. Voting means nothing. If you feel conviction about something, it is not enough to cast your vote and hope that a majority agrees with you. Might does not make right, and it is with this mentality that what most agree on is best for all, and just, that revolutionaries who would serve their country with conviction and conscience are put down and discredited.
Know now that being a good citizen in this free society does not mean being a "good consumer" and supporting the economy by buying ourselves further into debt. The great and mighty dollar is yet another way that we are all kept in slavery to a greater evil. The wheels of the great machine keep right on turning as we throw our hard earned wages into the furnace to fuel the injustice perpetrated by the same people we cast our vote for.
THE TIME FOR REVOLUTION IS NOW.
Don't spend another hour by providing a means to an end for someone else's dream, or more appropriately someone else's bank account. Don't pay another cent to the government that would so readily use your livelihood to perpetrate injustices like false imprisonment, torture and unjust war, and that would like nothing more than to take more of your money and have a tighter grip around the few liberties you still have.
Take heed to the words of a great man, that those who are imprisoned for opposing injustice are more free than their captors, and those who walk free in such an unjust society, supporting unjust acts with their complacency are more imprisoned than all.
At the same time that I write these words, I languish in my apartment filled with evidence of my own complacency, attending a university funded by the same government that would so quickly go to war for an unjust cause, and would so readily cast into prison as "enemy of the state" anyone turned over by a foreign warlord, bought with taxpayers money.
And look at what the latest "revolutionary" has offered:
Obama promised a new brand of politics in the US, saying that he would allow the American people to post commentary on any new bill that passes the senate and house for several days before he would sign it. He has as of now not done this, and is being allowed to perpetuate the same political tank he claimed to oppose because America is so accustomed to casting their vote, believing they are doing some great good, and then go on with their day to day, forgetting that they even cared about what their government did. And so once again our fate has been sealed, our souls bought by some great rhetoric, a historic election, a victory won for civil rights, but lost for our rationality.
Don't get me wrong, I voted for Obama, and I think it's great that he won, and it really is a victory for civil rights. Unfortunately I am forced to agree with the belief that he won not based on his ideas but on his rhetoric. As a nation, all we look to in our leaders is charisma and rhetoric. The ability to deliver a speech, written well by Harvard and Yale grads late at night over coffee, or cocaine, or whatever it is that drives the political machine onward.
And to clarify, I only voted for Obama because I felt it was the best way to ensure that Guantanimo would be closed, and hopefully some injustice will be slackened. I also feel that he is much less likely to declare an unjust war than his opponent would have been.
Unfortunately I also see the trap that I fell so easily into. Another issue addressed in Civil Disobedience is the false dichotomy offered up in American politics. Is a democracy really a democracy if everyone is voting for the lesser of two evils? Are we really being heard if we can't choose, and I mean really choose, the candidates that we vote for?
And this was an issue close to my heart not too long ago, my vehement belief that the best course of action was to vote for the BEST candidate, regardless of their odds of winning. I still believe this, and am disappointed in myself for betraying my principles with a counterproductive action, like throwing my vote away with the majority.
And look at the prison I've created for myself, spending myself into debt, so now I'm a slave not only to the government whose injustice's I do nothing to end, but also to the banks to whom I owe so much. I fear I will not see freedom for a long time yet, and I worry about how I will reach it. I am on a repayment plan that will have me debt free before too long, but there is still the issue of how I can rebel against the government that I disagree with on so many levels. I don't know if I am able, or willing, to wage full war on the lifestyle that I have benefited from for so long, and I am at a loss for how I would even begin to change my course at all.
All I can do is look to tomorrow, and make small changes every day. I am encouraged by Thoreau's musings that while one persons actions may seem trivial, something once done well, is done forever.
Enjoy the rain, love your life, and think about what you do.
I feel that I've finally settled into San Luis Obispo though, which is nice. While I am excited for spring break, I'm also very happy here. I've been hanging out with my friend Jason alot lately, which is good since we're planning on getting a house. He baked bread the other day, it tasted so good. He's gonna give me his recipe, but it was really cool to watch him make it, because he's made it so many times, and is so familiar with the process that he wasn't measuring any of the ingredients.
He poured flour straight from the bag into the bowl, squeezed honey straight from the bottle, the whole process seemed organic (but not in the no pesticides way), and it turned out with great texture and flavor. Tomorrow in foods lab we're baking bread, so it's kinda perfect timing. I need to do my dishes so I'll have stuff to cook with.
Favorite activity lately: go trick or go for a long ride, then kick back and have a couple beers and some stirfry/fried rice/pasta/fresh bread etc. over a good episode of its always sunny in philadelphia.
San Francisco was great, Sean's birthday party was pretty crazy, very interesting night, I have a few stories to share if you'd like to hear (over an OD's breakfast or a Super T burrito)
Rode around with Henry (Sean's roommate) and a bunch of his asian friends, that was pretty awesome, I got to jam down lombard and video them (holding their camcorder in one hand, other hand in the drops), got some great shots, weaving in and out of cars, panning around as they passed me, or I passed them. I'm stoked to see the final product.
Also my friend Eric from SLO just finished a couple videos he made for slofixed.com, one of which I'm in, albeit only for a couple seconds haha. In San Francisco I did a mean thing. I was supposed to ride with this girl Sarah Jane on Saturday, but when I mentioned it everyone in the house I was staying at told me she's boring as hell, so I definitely bailed on her. Normally I wouldn't do that but I had precious few hours to enjoy in the city, and rode with Henry and his crew instead. Still, I can't help but feel like a total asshole (appropriate since I happen to be a giant asshole)
The three days I was there, I had great (and pretty cheap) sushi, indian food and a burrito, all great tasting, all within a couple blocks of the house. I will move to the city after I graduate. Got back to the house on Saturday night after riding with Henry, door was locked, noone home, so I just rode a quick half hour down to Ocean Beach, saw a bunch of bonfires, got bored, rode back through the park.
Within minutes off the bus I was riding around the island, met this guy Maxwell who was really chill, talked about track bikes for awhile. I keep hearing how cliquey and pretentious San Francisco is, and supposedly everyones an asshole. Has not been my experience in the slightest.
There was one guy at Sean's party though that was the most pretentious person I have ever met. It was actually pretty comical, I couldn't help but laugh in his face, which probably just fed his "I'm hot shit and people don't understand me" complex.
I continued my music experiment throughout the weekend, got up through As I Lay Dying, then when I got home, my laptop charger wasn't working, which meant I had no way to listen to my music, or even charge my ipod, so I broke down and listened to some beirut and computer vs. banjo I had on cd. I think I'll keep listening through my library, but allow myself to listen to other stuff as well, might be the only way to keep my sanity.
Noticed though that it continued to work out that whatever happened to be playing was perfect for my mood/activities. It was pretty cool jamming down the embarcadero, cutting in and out of traffic while listening to As I Lay Dying. And I have a newfound appreciation for a few artists who's names start with A.
Oh also a sad development, I fucked up my skull candy ear buds, so it only plays out of one ear unless I twist the adapter around just right, which I can't do for bike riding. So I'm back to my crappy earbuds from before. Oh well I still have my sennheiser HD 480 for home ecstasy.
I just ordered a new charger for my laptop, $25 on ebay (including shipping). Super cheap, just hope it gets here soon.
So I spent way too much money in SF, but it was worth it (I'm selling my flatscreen monitor to cover the bill), and I came home with a new chrome bag and a new saddle, making for a great new feel when I'm riding.
This summer should be a great time, planning on a two week bike trip to Portland with Jason, Mark, Matt and Sam (hopefully Sean too). Hoping to go backpacking with Bobby on the lost coast still. Hoping to spend a good amount of time in San Francisco, Santa Cruz and San Luis Obispo too. First on my list of priorities for the summer though is to find a job so I can save up some moneys. Anyone know of people in Gilroy that might hire someone just for the summer?
I re-read civil disobedience by Thoreau while I was on the bus up to San Francisco, also read life without principle again, and finally finished reading winter walk.
Got a fire lit under my butt by civil disobedience, reading some of the stuff in there that I had completely forgotten about. One quote that stood out was when HDT commented on the fact that for every one virtuous man, there are 999 patrons of virtue. I am embarrassed that currently I best fit the description of 1 of the 999. I have a bunch of causes that I support with words, but which I do little to actually further by my actions. I have principle, but no action from principle. I hope to find ways to take steps to correct that.
He also observes that to follow the letter of the law, despite ones conscience is to betray the one law we are all obligated to. So the unjust thing to do is to observe a law that goes against your morals. If an evil perpetrated by the government is observed, protest by words is not enough. The moral action is to stand up and refuse to obey a law that so discriminates or persecutes, or wages unjust war. So it is then, that the greatest patriot is often considered the greatest enemy of the state, for a true patriot serves a country not according to it's own laws, but according to his heart and the truest kind of freedom for everyone.
Thoreau also puts forth a great challenge for all who stand up for whats right, stating that if a government imprisons any unjustly, the only place for a truly just man is in a prison. That hit close to home, since America is the very definition of that, holding political prisoners and abusing human rights in secret prisons, and yet I walk the streets freely. Until we all are safe from an oppressive government, none of us are safe. He also relates a night he spent in jail when he refused to pay his taxes, and is amused by the fact that the guard takes such care to lock him in, when he feels he is the free-est man in the town, since he isn't paying his wages to a government that he so disagrees with.
We are constantly lulled into complacency by those in power above us, and pundits insisting that the time for revolution ended with the revolutionary war. Such is not the case, and I am not speaking of a revolution in the ballot box. If anything, it is the ballot box that holds us so entrapped in this false democracy we obey at every step. Voting means nothing. If you feel conviction about something, it is not enough to cast your vote and hope that a majority agrees with you. Might does not make right, and it is with this mentality that what most agree on is best for all, and just, that revolutionaries who would serve their country with conviction and conscience are put down and discredited.
Know now that being a good citizen in this free society does not mean being a "good consumer" and supporting the economy by buying ourselves further into debt. The great and mighty dollar is yet another way that we are all kept in slavery to a greater evil. The wheels of the great machine keep right on turning as we throw our hard earned wages into the furnace to fuel the injustice perpetrated by the same people we cast our vote for.
THE TIME FOR REVOLUTION IS NOW.
Don't spend another hour by providing a means to an end for someone else's dream, or more appropriately someone else's bank account. Don't pay another cent to the government that would so readily use your livelihood to perpetrate injustices like false imprisonment, torture and unjust war, and that would like nothing more than to take more of your money and have a tighter grip around the few liberties you still have.
Take heed to the words of a great man, that those who are imprisoned for opposing injustice are more free than their captors, and those who walk free in such an unjust society, supporting unjust acts with their complacency are more imprisoned than all.
At the same time that I write these words, I languish in my apartment filled with evidence of my own complacency, attending a university funded by the same government that would so quickly go to war for an unjust cause, and would so readily cast into prison as "enemy of the state" anyone turned over by a foreign warlord, bought with taxpayers money.
And look at what the latest "revolutionary" has offered:
Obama promised a new brand of politics in the US, saying that he would allow the American people to post commentary on any new bill that passes the senate and house for several days before he would sign it. He has as of now not done this, and is being allowed to perpetuate the same political tank he claimed to oppose because America is so accustomed to casting their vote, believing they are doing some great good, and then go on with their day to day, forgetting that they even cared about what their government did. And so once again our fate has been sealed, our souls bought by some great rhetoric, a historic election, a victory won for civil rights, but lost for our rationality.
Don't get me wrong, I voted for Obama, and I think it's great that he won, and it really is a victory for civil rights. Unfortunately I am forced to agree with the belief that he won not based on his ideas but on his rhetoric. As a nation, all we look to in our leaders is charisma and rhetoric. The ability to deliver a speech, written well by Harvard and Yale grads late at night over coffee, or cocaine, or whatever it is that drives the political machine onward.
And to clarify, I only voted for Obama because I felt it was the best way to ensure that Guantanimo would be closed, and hopefully some injustice will be slackened. I also feel that he is much less likely to declare an unjust war than his opponent would have been.
Unfortunately I also see the trap that I fell so easily into. Another issue addressed in Civil Disobedience is the false dichotomy offered up in American politics. Is a democracy really a democracy if everyone is voting for the lesser of two evils? Are we really being heard if we can't choose, and I mean really choose, the candidates that we vote for?
And this was an issue close to my heart not too long ago, my vehement belief that the best course of action was to vote for the BEST candidate, regardless of their odds of winning. I still believe this, and am disappointed in myself for betraying my principles with a counterproductive action, like throwing my vote away with the majority.
And look at the prison I've created for myself, spending myself into debt, so now I'm a slave not only to the government whose injustice's I do nothing to end, but also to the banks to whom I owe so much. I fear I will not see freedom for a long time yet, and I worry about how I will reach it. I am on a repayment plan that will have me debt free before too long, but there is still the issue of how I can rebel against the government that I disagree with on so many levels. I don't know if I am able, or willing, to wage full war on the lifestyle that I have benefited from for so long, and I am at a loss for how I would even begin to change my course at all.
All I can do is look to tomorrow, and make small changes every day. I am encouraged by Thoreau's musings that while one persons actions may seem trivial, something once done well, is done forever.
Enjoy the rain, love your life, and think about what you do.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Day 2 of my music experiment
Yesterday I decided to listen to my 21 days and 11 hours of music from A-Z, no skipping songs, no listening to anything else (on my computer or ipod) until I'm done. This is going to be quite the undertaking, which I realized as I suffered through an hour of afroman. "Because I got high" is funny...an hour of that guy is just too much.
On the flip side, I've heard a few songs that I really like that I usually skip over, and even made me fall in love with a couple bands so far that I would usually rarely listen to (air, amon tobin). Somehow it seems like whatever music comes on, it always suits my mood, which leads me to the question of the day: Is it my mood that dictates the music I choose, or is it the music I listen to that dictates my mood? Obviously, it goes both ways, but I am beginning to think that music has a much greater influence on my thoughts and mood than I would have previously given it credit for.
I am going to bring a notebook on the bus tomorrow and continue my experiment during my 5 hour bus ride to San Francisco, writing about any observations I have. I'm also bringing my portable thoreau, I'm going to study a chapter of chemistry, then read an essay by thoreau, then study a chapter of organic chemistry, then thoreau, and on and on. I need to get ready for two midterms next week, but I also want to take advantage of the down time to read something just for me.
Today I got to talk to the president of the ADA (American Dietetic association). He was talking about the opportunities within the ADA itself, including being a spokesperson for the ADA. That position really caught my attention, and made me think about pursuing a career in Nutrition writing and communication. I will always love writing and journalism, and while I definitely want to work in a clinical dietetics setting for a few years, I could see myself writing for a newspaper, or a magazine, or even doing PR for the ADA or a nonprofit community nutrition organization.
The world of nutrition is rapidly expanding along with America's collective waist line, and it seems like possibilities are multiplying exponentially. There's always a part of me that wants to go to grad school and become a researcher for performance and sports nutrition, and I still want to get involved in health care, and I also want to write. I know I can't pursue any one career that encompasses all of those, but writing could always be a complement to whatever career path I do end up taking.
I am more excited now than ever before for the prospects of the fruits of my scholastic labor.
I'm about to ride to the beach with my friend Snails, today's weather has been absolutely beautiful, and I've been riding around town all day. I went to Cambria Bicycle outfitters, where they sold me a lockring to replace the one I bent, and installed it for free. I'm going to take a sixpack of some nice lager to share with the guy that helped me next time I'm in. CBO has always taken care of me, and the guys are all super down to earth.
I hope you all have a great day, best wishes from the bike path!
Johnny
On the flip side, I've heard a few songs that I really like that I usually skip over, and even made me fall in love with a couple bands so far that I would usually rarely listen to (air, amon tobin). Somehow it seems like whatever music comes on, it always suits my mood, which leads me to the question of the day: Is it my mood that dictates the music I choose, or is it the music I listen to that dictates my mood? Obviously, it goes both ways, but I am beginning to think that music has a much greater influence on my thoughts and mood than I would have previously given it credit for.
I am going to bring a notebook on the bus tomorrow and continue my experiment during my 5 hour bus ride to San Francisco, writing about any observations I have. I'm also bringing my portable thoreau, I'm going to study a chapter of chemistry, then read an essay by thoreau, then study a chapter of organic chemistry, then thoreau, and on and on. I need to get ready for two midterms next week, but I also want to take advantage of the down time to read something just for me.
Today I got to talk to the president of the ADA (American Dietetic association). He was talking about the opportunities within the ADA itself, including being a spokesperson for the ADA. That position really caught my attention, and made me think about pursuing a career in Nutrition writing and communication. I will always love writing and journalism, and while I definitely want to work in a clinical dietetics setting for a few years, I could see myself writing for a newspaper, or a magazine, or even doing PR for the ADA or a nonprofit community nutrition organization.
The world of nutrition is rapidly expanding along with America's collective waist line, and it seems like possibilities are multiplying exponentially. There's always a part of me that wants to go to grad school and become a researcher for performance and sports nutrition, and I still want to get involved in health care, and I also want to write. I know I can't pursue any one career that encompasses all of those, but writing could always be a complement to whatever career path I do end up taking.
I am more excited now than ever before for the prospects of the fruits of my scholastic labor.
I'm about to ride to the beach with my friend Snails, today's weather has been absolutely beautiful, and I've been riding around town all day. I went to Cambria Bicycle outfitters, where they sold me a lockring to replace the one I bent, and installed it for free. I'm going to take a sixpack of some nice lager to share with the guy that helped me next time I'm in. CBO has always taken care of me, and the guys are all super down to earth.
I hope you all have a great day, best wishes from the bike path!
Johnny
Monday, February 23, 2009
Free pancakes at IHOP
Tomorrow is gonna be awesome. I get out of class at 3, then there's a nutrition club meeting that Marty Yubrick (one of the few male dieticians, now working for a software developer in nutrition in healthcare) is speaking at, then I'm gonna ride really quickly to avila beach and back, then I'm having dinner with my uncle Roger, then I'm having free pancakes at IHOP.
Wednesday should be good too, out of class at 10AM, a meet and greet with Marty Yubrick, coffee with my swedish friend Maja at noon, then I'm thinking of riding to Morro bay, will definitely take a fairly long ride.
Then on Thursday I have class until 3pm, then I leave for San Francisco on the AMTRAK at 3:45, get in to the Ferry Building at 10:30, gonna ride around with Henry and maybe Sean at the island for a little while (hopefully it won't be raining) and then ride back to their house.
Seans birthday party is on Friday, Henry and I are gonna ride the 17 mile city loop in the afternoon, then dinner and afterwards Sean's birthday party. Saturday, depending on the severity of the hangover, might include paradise loop, a 43 mile ride up into Marin, which apparently has some pretty aggressive hills.
Then Sunday I leave from the Ferry building at 10:05 AM and ride a bus back to San Luis, and I'll be back by 4pm. I'm bringing my chem and ochem books to read on the train, because I am way behind in both of those classes and finals are coming up.
I haven't posted any philosophical posts lately, in fact I haven't even had many philosophical thoughts, been pretty busy going to school, studying and riding my bike, but I hope to dive back into my portable thoreau soon and see what nuggets I can squeeze out of life.
Take care fellow bloggers, have a good week!
Wednesday should be good too, out of class at 10AM, a meet and greet with Marty Yubrick, coffee with my swedish friend Maja at noon, then I'm thinking of riding to Morro bay, will definitely take a fairly long ride.
Then on Thursday I have class until 3pm, then I leave for San Francisco on the AMTRAK at 3:45, get in to the Ferry Building at 10:30, gonna ride around with Henry and maybe Sean at the island for a little while (hopefully it won't be raining) and then ride back to their house.
Seans birthday party is on Friday, Henry and I are gonna ride the 17 mile city loop in the afternoon, then dinner and afterwards Sean's birthday party. Saturday, depending on the severity of the hangover, might include paradise loop, a 43 mile ride up into Marin, which apparently has some pretty aggressive hills.
Then Sunday I leave from the Ferry building at 10:05 AM and ride a bus back to San Luis, and I'll be back by 4pm. I'm bringing my chem and ochem books to read on the train, because I am way behind in both of those classes and finals are coming up.
I haven't posted any philosophical posts lately, in fact I haven't even had many philosophical thoughts, been pretty busy going to school, studying and riding my bike, but I hope to dive back into my portable thoreau soon and see what nuggets I can squeeze out of life.
Take care fellow bloggers, have a good week!
Quick update
It's been a few days. Been on a few more rides, total of about 110 miles last week, topped off with a great rainy day ride to Pismo, Shell and Avila beaches, and then up to Port San Luis. a 35 mile ride.
Rode to Lopez Lake on Saturday (thats the ride I couldn't finish a couple Sundays ago) and kicked it's ass.
I'm really struggling in Chem right now, mainly because I spend hours on the road and not enough hours studying. After the ride yesterday I made a big pot of pasta with some red sauce made with mushrooms, zuchinni, green onions, yellow onions, garlic, cabernet, cayenne pepper, crushed red peppers, paprika and italian seasonings, shared it with Jason (one of the guys I rode with), great post ride meal. I burned an extra 6000 calories this week from biking, but I definitely ate enough to compensate haha. I get back from long rides and munch on anything in sight for hours.
My friend Steven and I are going to the cal poly wheelmen (club racing team) meeting on Wednesday, I'd really like to start road racing. Anyways, heres a picture I took on the way to Lopez Lake, my friend Polka got a flat so we all stopped for a break while he fixed it, it was nice to have a little bit of rest, since it was at the top of a pretty big hill too:
Rode to Lopez Lake on Saturday (thats the ride I couldn't finish a couple Sundays ago) and kicked it's ass.
I'm really struggling in Chem right now, mainly because I spend hours on the road and not enough hours studying. After the ride yesterday I made a big pot of pasta with some red sauce made with mushrooms, zuchinni, green onions, yellow onions, garlic, cabernet, cayenne pepper, crushed red peppers, paprika and italian seasonings, shared it with Jason (one of the guys I rode with), great post ride meal. I burned an extra 6000 calories this week from biking, but I definitely ate enough to compensate haha. I get back from long rides and munch on anything in sight for hours.
My friend Steven and I are going to the cal poly wheelmen (club racing team) meeting on Wednesday, I'd really like to start road racing. Anyways, heres a picture I took on the way to Lopez Lake, my friend Polka got a flat so we all stopped for a break while he fixed it, it was nice to have a little bit of rest, since it was at the top of a pretty big hill too:
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Bike ride to Avila
So all day today I had been planning on taking a ride to Avila beach, I was originally going to leave after class at around 10:30. I locked my keys in my apartment when I left for class though, which means I had no way of locking my bike up, which means I skipped class (not risking getting my shit stolen). I miss too many lectures.
So instead of being in class, all this morning I was just riding around the church parking lot across the street from my apartments, did 7 backwards circles in a row, got a 3 pedal stroke wheelie in, and got better at doing leg over skids (throw my leg over the handlebars, lock my other leg and skid)
After that I got lazy, and sat around studying for Ochem all day until 4, when I decided I needed to get that bike ride in that I had been planning all day. It was a beautiful day, clear skies for miles, and the beach wasn't windy at all. I rode pretty hard to Avila, posted up on the beach and hung out for about 15 minutes:
As I was sitting there listening to Computer vs Banjo in my headphones, I thought... this is the perfect moment to enjoy a beer, a hard ride, a sunny day, a beautiful beach... too bad I don't have one. But then just for the hell of it I checked in my backpack and found a PBR that had been chillin' in the side pocket for months, popped it open and enjoyed the warm, frothy goodness
left my apartment at 4:00, Got to avila at 4:40, hung out and rode around a little until 4:55, then rode back, got to my apartment at 5:35, and after all the mashing around trying to beat the sunset back to my apartment it was chow time, my Mom came on Monday for lunch and brought me a fresh baked loaf of whole wheat bread, so I cut off a couple slices and toasted them, double stacked two of my new hummus burgers, threw a couple slices of my 5 pound brick of cheese on, some fresh onions and bell peppers, squirted some mustard, and enjoyed. It was DEE lishous. And with a banana (and two fudge chocolate chip cookies, also gifts from my mom) for dessert, it was the perfect post workout meal.
I'm going to try and get a solid bike ride in at least every other day, I definitely have the free time, might as well get in shape and enjoy the great outdoors (I love the long rides, nothing clears my mind better than being on my bike for a couple hours... except maybe snowboarding but I can't afford to do anymore of that this year)
So instead of being in class, all this morning I was just riding around the church parking lot across the street from my apartments, did 7 backwards circles in a row, got a 3 pedal stroke wheelie in, and got better at doing leg over skids (throw my leg over the handlebars, lock my other leg and skid)
After that I got lazy, and sat around studying for Ochem all day until 4, when I decided I needed to get that bike ride in that I had been planning all day. It was a beautiful day, clear skies for miles, and the beach wasn't windy at all. I rode pretty hard to Avila, posted up on the beach and hung out for about 15 minutes:
As I was sitting there listening to Computer vs Banjo in my headphones, I thought... this is the perfect moment to enjoy a beer, a hard ride, a sunny day, a beautiful beach... too bad I don't have one. But then just for the hell of it I checked in my backpack and found a PBR that had been chillin' in the side pocket for months, popped it open and enjoyed the warm, frothy goodness
left my apartment at 4:00, Got to avila at 4:40, hung out and rode around a little until 4:55, then rode back, got to my apartment at 5:35, and after all the mashing around trying to beat the sunset back to my apartment it was chow time, my Mom came on Monday for lunch and brought me a fresh baked loaf of whole wheat bread, so I cut off a couple slices and toasted them, double stacked two of my new hummus burgers, threw a couple slices of my 5 pound brick of cheese on, some fresh onions and bell peppers, squirted some mustard, and enjoyed. It was DEE lishous. And with a banana (and two fudge chocolate chip cookies, also gifts from my mom) for dessert, it was the perfect post workout meal.
I'm going to try and get a solid bike ride in at least every other day, I definitely have the free time, might as well get in shape and enjoy the great outdoors (I love the long rides, nothing clears my mind better than being on my bike for a couple hours... except maybe snowboarding but I can't afford to do anymore of that this year)
I was guided to the realization last night that I'm pretty selfish. Usually when someone tries to call me out or show me something about myself with good intentions, I burn them and walk away.
But I have been selfish in most of the friendships/relationships I've been in for awhile now. I'm setting out to change that. A big part of it is being too negative, not being encouraging stuff like that. Anyways that as neither here nor there.
I made another batch of veggie burgers, used eggs this time, helped them stick together, also added orange bell peppers and zuchinni chopped up in there. Oh and instead of pinto beans I mashed up garbanzo beans so they have a pseudo hummus flavor to them.
I'm going on a bike ride to the beach and back right now since the weather is so damn beautiful.
But I have been selfish in most of the friendships/relationships I've been in for awhile now. I'm setting out to change that. A big part of it is being too negative, not being encouraging stuff like that. Anyways that as neither here nor there.
I made another batch of veggie burgers, used eggs this time, helped them stick together, also added orange bell peppers and zuchinni chopped up in there. Oh and instead of pinto beans I mashed up garbanzo beans so they have a pseudo hummus flavor to them.
I'm going on a bike ride to the beach and back right now since the weather is so damn beautiful.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Back to San Francisco
I am going north to my favorite city on February 26th or 27th if all goes as planned. I'm going to try to sell my computer monitor to fund the trip.
I will be taking the coast starlight train (amtrak) up there, getting dropped off at the ferry building, aKa the island, aKa a sweet biking spot, at around 10pm. I'm planning on kicking it around there for a couple hours before I ride to Sean's house if it's not raining.
This whole trip is to go up for Sean's birthday party, with the lovely benefit of being a nice holiday to my happiest place on earth.
Got new clips for my bike, because my old ones were broken (they lasted a little more than a month), so I bought metal ones that'll stand up to my abuse. I can do 3 backwards circles now, but can only ride away from 1, and not all the time. I really want to be able to pop up and whip out of them but that'll be a ways down the road. Still having trouble learning wheelies, I'll get them one day I'm sure.
I will be taking the coast starlight train (amtrak) up there, getting dropped off at the ferry building, aKa the island, aKa a sweet biking spot, at around 10pm. I'm planning on kicking it around there for a couple hours before I ride to Sean's house if it's not raining.
This whole trip is to go up for Sean's birthday party, with the lovely benefit of being a nice holiday to my happiest place on earth.
Got new clips for my bike, because my old ones were broken (they lasted a little more than a month), so I bought metal ones that'll stand up to my abuse. I can do 3 backwards circles now, but can only ride away from 1, and not all the time. I really want to be able to pop up and whip out of them but that'll be a ways down the road. Still having trouble learning wheelies, I'll get them one day I'm sure.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Ugly Duckling, or: When will the swan come
proof positive that I'm unattractive, or at the very least the worlds least photogenic person.
good times good times.
Went trail riding on our fixed gear roadbikes today. That was interesting, bent my deep V back rim, which is a bummer, got a flat, also a bummer, chain came off on a downhill trail, had to run into the hillside to stop myself, cut up my leg, bummer.
But the ride was amazing. All those bummers can go to hell in a handbasket, because I had a great time today.
Did three backwards circles in a row, did my first legover skid (even if I did hit a parked car, it's still my first)
and I think I made a breakthrough on the wheelie front.
And I'm actually making friends down here, which is awesome. Good day. Yesterday was good to, forget that it was valentines day, focus on the fact that it was a great day in it's own right.
And have a wonderful, peaceful and safe night
PEACE
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